Self love is a lie. Or let me say it this way; the way we approach self love is a lie.

Self care is undoubtedly important and God speaks on love countless times throughout scripture; yet, not one verse is spoken on love of self. (2 Timothy 3:1-5, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Philippians 2:3, John 15:12, 1 John 4:19-21, John 5:30,Matthew 16:24-25, Romans 12:10….)

God’s greatest commandment to us is to love Him with all our heart, soul and mind and to love others as ourself. All inclusive.

The enemy wants nothing more than to keep us separated from God and separated from others.

In our modern world of individuality we are taught that it’s impossible to love others if you don’t love yourself. But in reality; I’ve witness more selfish behavior, more division and more isolation when I/we attempt to love ourselves first. When we focus our priorities on genuinely knowing God through study, prayer and worship, we naturally become more loving in decisions that support our relationship with Him; renewing our faith in our own hearts, which naturally pours over into the lives of others. When you prioritize being in right relationship with God, overtime, this brings you back into balance with yourself and with others. Self love can only be found when we make it a daily priority to love our Creator through glorifying him in ALL we do. So the time used as “you” time becomes about Him and by default, you are refueled/recharged/plugged in more than you could have ever achieved alone.

In my past life of the new age world of visualization, manifestation and attempts at acquiring selfish desires of material or emotional gains in my own self efforts and isolating myself to “protect my energy” or keeping distance from those who did not “match my vibes” was far from having a loving heart for myself much less for God or others.

I would put my relationship with God/spiritual health on the same level of importance (under me) along with financial, work, emotional, relationships and health. I realized in doing this, that I was spinning the plates in all areas of my life in my own strength which became exhausting and too often these plates would often times fall short crashing around me leaving me with picking up the pieces; telling myself once again, that I just needed to prioritize myself first to have the ability to manage everything at my best and to give to others after I reset/recharged; ultimately isolating myself even more.

Since coming to Christ, I have prioritized an intimate relationship with God first, above MYSELF and it is through HIS strength and being in right relationship with Him that His love pours into me in a way that gives me more strength, more clarity and more purpose than I could have ever achieved on my own.

By prioritizing the renewing of my faith daily, it naturally fills me abundantly in a way that pours over into the lives of others …because it is no longer about me, my desires, my wants.

It’s about Him and for His glory.

Fulfilling His greatest commandment; love me first and love your neighbor as yourself.

These are never separate.

Ive offered ten examples here circulating in our modern new age world of how Self love can quickly translate into the Love of Self, selfishly excluding us from our Creator and separating ourselves from others. I’ve offered the Christian perspective I now have since placing God’s love first.

1. Do it for you~> do it for God.
2. You must love yourself first to love others~>to love others you must fully know the love of God.
3. Manifest what you desire~>align with God’s will not your own.
4. I am a strong woman~>I am weak made strong through Christ’s strength
5. Visualize what you want and say no to everything else~>Serve others by your God given gifts for His glory not based on selfish desires.
6. Protect yourself from bad vibes and energy~>Selflessly and humbly love your enemy just as God loves you.
7. Do what feels good~>I don’t live by my feelings I live by truth through the word of God.
8. Shine your light~>shine the light of Christ for others to see Him when they see you.
9. The universe has your back~>God, the Maker of the universe, works all things for good for those who believe in Him.
10. You can achieve what you believe~>set your sights and place your faith on the unseen for what is seen is only temporary what is unseen is for eternity, no thief can steal nor destroy it.

The only way to truly love yourself and others is to know the love of God. This new perspective has filled me up in a way that gives me more purpose and more love for myself (a God-fidence) to share with others that I never had achieved on my own.

So, yes. I know many may think it’s counterintuitive and a radical idea that self love is a lie; but in reality, if we’re walking through life making it about our own self efforts and desires, self love can quickly translate into the love of Self; depleting our reserves and doing just the opposite. No moon cycle, person, ritual or object is going to recharge, renew or rejuvenate us in the same strength (nor close) to that of plugging into God’s power and through prioritizing an intimate relationship with Him allowing us to steward our best selves in living on mission for Him.

The boundless well of love you’re seeking will be found within His love for you…not your love to yourself. Self love is found in renewing our minds by getting into His word daily to learn His character for our continued transformation into His likeness. Continued prayer in intimate relationship to Him. Scripture meditation to better understand His promises to us. Glorifying Him in all we do.

He is the perfect source and the only source of steadfast love.